I Remember
by notenoughpotter
Summary: This story is filled with ALL THE ANGST - fair warning. A one-shot that's actually comprised of 3 short chapters. Damon tries his own method for dealing with the sire bond...and it doesn't go well for either him or Elena.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This is a one-shot for Olga. Well, not exactly a one-shot….my stories seldom are. I think this will be three short chapters.

Thanks for the signature. It's exactly what I wanted. Sorry this took so long. I've taken a few liberties with your prompt. Hope that's ok.

Rating: Mature – language, violence, subject matter, Stefan

* * *

Damon leaned against the side of his car and listened as the gasoline hissed through the tubing. He'd left Mystic Falls three tanks of gas ago. He wouldn't reach his destination for at least four more.

Seattle seemed kind of cliché for a vampire. Cold and damp, especially now that winter was settling in, close enough to the home of Twilight, he'd almost considered changing his destination. But he'd lived there once half a century ago. Then, the darkness helped hide his movements at night. Now, the ever-present gloom matched his mood.

He chuckled sourly to himself, and the elderly couple shuffling through the decaying parking lot turned to look at the leather-clad figure next to the classic car and practically ran for their vehicle. He hadn't lost his edge – at least not all of it.

A popping sound signaled the fuel tank had filled, and he removed the spout from his car. Who was he kidding? He wasn't the vampire he once was when he lived in Seattle. He hadn't been for a long time. Not since an impromptu dinner party a long time ago when his prey saw the humanity he'd kept buried for over a century. The instant the words came out of Elena's mouth, he should have realized he was doomed. "I'm sorry. You lost her too." Six words changed his life.

Two weeks ago, he'd been in heaven. As they'd expected, Elena began changing after she transitioned into a vampire. He wasn't surprised to find a darker and infinitely more interesting Elena buried beneath the surface. Stefan was.

He was surprised to discover his brother didn't like this new Elena. And the new Elena liked Damon very much. So much so that Stefan couldn't handle sharing her any longer – probably because he realized she was no longer torn 50/50 between the brothers, and now he was on the losing end.

If he'd been surprised when he heard Stefan had broken up with Elena, Damon was astonished when she'd looked at him the night after the Miss Mystic Falls pageant. She'd said she wanted to dance, but her eyes made it clear she wanted so much more.

The night he'd spent with her was beyond his wildest dreams. And he thought he had been dreaming until he woke up to discover she was still with him the next morning.

It wasn't a dream.

But it turned into a nightmare.

"Elena's sired to you, Damon." Stefan's words began Damon's spiral into his own personal hell. A trip to New Orleans did nothing to fix the problem – despite the witch's assertions that Elena had to have loved him before she turned.

If she'd loved him, then why had she chosen Stefan. Without that choice, she wouldn't have been on that bridge, and Damon wouldn't have been here in between towns that he'd miss if he blinked too quickly.

But that the last time he spoke to her as a human wasn't why he was here. Not really. The drizzle-chilled metal of his car seeped into his back as his feet refused to move. Just like that night at the cabin.

He'd sat there, leaning against the rail beneath the tiny white lights a dead Gilbert had strung a lifetime ago, and Elena beckoned him to come inside. She wanted him. She looked so innocent, it was practically painful…and he knew from experience that innocent was one thing she was _not._

So he sat there. Watching her.

She and Jeremy looked like normal siblings.

He and Stefan had been that way once. Hadn't they? Despite the vampire-influenced clarity of mind, that was a time period that blurred like a timeworn photograph. Maybe it was better that way.

Elena wasn't easily dissuaded. While he was in the deepest point of his melancholy, she'd come to stand next to him on the porch.

A naughty grin crossed her face as she twirled mistletoe over his head.

He knew what she wanted. He wanted it too. Every inch of his body remembered the way her sweat-slickened body writhed against him. He could still see her eyes as they changed from chocolate brown to black with lust. He could hear her moans of pleasure when she could no longer form words.

God, he'd have liked nothing more than to have thrown her on the ground and taken her right there on the patio. And she would have let him.

Because, despite all her protests, that _wasn't _Elena.

And that's exactly why he had to let her go.

* * *

Sorry this one's short. It kind of had to be, you'll see why in chapter two. I hope to get the next chapter up by Tuesday (or Wednesday at the latest). Reviews make me type more quickly – or at least that's the general idea.


	2. Chapter 2

So...about that update timing. Yeah, life (and a trip to Atlanta) happens. I totally didn't expect to be without wi-fi, but I was. And now I'm not. Here's the second chapter. Hopefully, chapter 3 will be up before Thursday.

Enjoy!

* * *

Elena paused in the midst of folding the last of her laundry. She held the pair of leggings in the air and listened. Someone was walking across the front porch. Heavy boots. For an instant, her heart skipped a beat. But then reality came crashing down.

It wasn't him.

It couldn't be.

He'd set her free.

She laughed at the irony of the phrase. Set…her…free.

She'd been free once. For that one night she spent in his arms, she'd truly felt happy. No one to judge her. No one to try to fix her. As Damon cradled her against his chest, his index finger slowly drifting down her cheek, she'd been happy. It had been so long since she'd felt carefree and cherished, she'd almost forgotten what it was like.

And then…

Sired. It should be considered a curse word. If she had her way, she'd have it removed from the dictionary. Because of that word, she'd lost Damon. That word and a witch in New Orleans, that is. And Stefan.

When Damon stood there and _freed _her, part of it was because of some sense of debt he had to his brother.

The footsteps stopped as the front doorknob squeaked. Someone was here. Elena couldn't help herself, she sped down the stairs in a blur. And was greeted by one of the sharpest stakes she'd ever seen.

"Elena!" Jeremy panted as he dropped the stake. It echoed on the hardwood floor. "God, don't do that. I don't want to stake you." He took a tentative step in her direction before he wrapped his arms around her.

"Sorry." For the first time in weeks, Elena almost relaxed. She'd been pitifully lacking in interaction with others since she and Stefan weren't talking….and she and Caroline were communicating by glaring at each other across the classroom. She was so lonely she was even looking forward to school each day. It was better than only having her own footsteps to keep her company.

"What are you doing here?" Despite her new vampire-enhanced senses, she felt sluggish and slow. She couldn't process the fact that she was standing face to face with her little brother.

"I kind of thought I lived here." He stepped back and gave her a long, searching look. His grimace suggested he didn't like what he saw.

And he dropped the stake at her feet. For an instant, she'd forgotten about the stake. Jeremy had learned to control his desire to kill her. Damon had trained him well. That could only mean…..

She couldn't wait any longer. Turning away from her brother, she flew through the house and grabbed her jacket and car keys. She had to go see him.

"Elena, wait!" Jeremy called out as she slammed the door.

* * *

In her haste to see him, she almost missed the boardinghouse driveway. Only her supernaturally sharpened reflexes kept her from driving past the house. Still her SUV bounced and purse leapt off the seat next to her and rolled onto the floor.

She hopped out of the car and ran to the door, smiling as it opened before she even knocked.

"Finally…." But it wasn't the Salvatore brother she'd expected who opened the door. Stefan smiled at her like a father indulging his daughter. "I wondered when you'd come back."

Elena stopped so abruptly, she teetered on her heel.

"Aren't you coming in?" Stefan stepped back out of the doorway.

Elena felt her forehead furrowing. Jeremy was home. That meant Damon would be home. She had to see him. She needed to explain….to convince him how badly wrong he'd been. She turned back and looked at the driveway. His car wasn't there. "Where's Damon?"

Stefan shook his head and gave a sad smile. "Elena." His voice was little more than a whisper as he reached out and stroked her hair.

Elena took a step back, shaking her head. "No."

"Elena, I don't blame you." He skimmed her cheek with the back of his fingers. "It was Damon…."

"No." She fought to swallow. "Don't even." Rage was the one emotion she still struggled to control. Right now it bubbled to the surface. She could feel the veins beginning to darken around her eyes.

"He took advantage of you." Stefan grabbed hold of her wrist. "But don't worry. He's gone."

"Damon saved me." She twisted her arm and broke his hold. And then she realized what he'd said. "He's…."

"Just give it some time. The distance will fix everything. You'll be back to yourself before you know it." He leaned over her possessively.

And she understood.

Damon was _gone._

He hadn't just stayed behind to train Jeremy, caught up in some misguided attempt to break the sire bond. He was gone. He'd left.

But he promised.

Elena backed out of the house. "You…don't understand. It'll never be the same." She didn't try to hide the fire that flashed in her eyes.

She didn't remember the drive home. Or taking a shower. Or getting into bed.

"I'm sorry." Jeremy stood in her doorway. His silhouette was bigger than she'd remembered. He wasn't really her little brother any longer. "I wanted to tell you, but you drove off before I could."

"It's not your fault." She rolled onto her side and pulled her teddy bear into her chest. That was the last thing she felt for a very long time.

* * *

One week.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

* * *

"Elena?" Jeremy cleared his throat and walked into her room.

She sat up higher on the bed and tugged the blankets up to her chest. They'd repeated this dance every night since he'd gotten home. He'd say he was worried about her. She'd say she was fine. He'd say he believed her.

They both knew the other was lying.

Neither one of them admitted it.

Because they didn't know how to fix it.

Jeremy approached the side of the bed and switched on the light. Elena smoothed her disheveled hair. That was new.

"What do you want?" She blinked at him. This wasn't part of the routine. She wasn't trying to wallow in self-pity. No. But she was stuck in an ever-present fog. No matter how hard she fought, it wouldn't clear.

"We need to talk." Jeremy looked so much like their father it was almost scary. Since when did he become the responsible one in the family?

Elena sat up higher on the bed and took a breath. She knew they weren't talking about school. She had a straight A average. Last week, she even stayed after school to help Mrs. Preston dust the plastic skeletons in the biology lab. She didn't need the extra credit, but it was better than staring at the walls of her bedroom.

Or wondering where Jeremy had disappeared to again. He'd walk out the front door silently, but he wouldn't go to school. She'd become an expert at compelling the school secretary. Jeremy's attendance record was spotless. When he came home, he'd absently rub his arm – each time a little closer to his shoulder. She pretended not to notice.

Just like he pretended not to notice that each day she retreated farther from the world of the living.

"Elena?" He pulled her from her thoughts.

"Sorry." She shook her head in an attempt to clear it. He tossed a sheet of paper in her direction. "What's this?"

"Read it."

"A ticket. To Seattle?" She didn't understand.

"It's where he is." Jeremy nodded at the page.

"And this one?"

He narrowed his eyes and stared down at the ticket to Las Vegas. "You're going to need a little help before you get there."

She stared at the tickets. Her first flight left in less than three hours. "How do you know?"

Jeremy gave a sad smile and looked in the direction of the window seat. "How do you think?"

* * *

The automatic doors of the airport hissed closed behind Elena as she stepped into the inky blackness. Instantly, the mist swirling through the pre-dawn air swallowed her up like an unwelcome jacket. A lonely cab sat in front of the terminal. Not much use for them this time of the night. Still, it was convenient. Elena gave a broad smile and waved in the cab driver's direction. As his _off duty _light switched off, she was thankful she'd selected the body-hugging sweater and short skirt. But her outfit wasn't for the cab driver's benefit.

"Need a ride, honey?" The middle-aged man looked as if he hoped her answer would involve a stop at his house.

"I do. Thank you." She stepped into the backseat.

"No luggage?" A hint of suspicion tinged his words.

"I like to travel light." She gave what she hoped was a reassuring grin.

He nodded. "Sure you do." He wasn't convinced. Elena had the strong suspicion that as soon as he went home for the day, he'd be pouring over missing children reports – hoping to find a runaway matching her description.

She leaned forward in her seat, catching his eye. "364 Taylor Street." She could have compelled him with her eyes closed. "And forget you saw me."

His face became oddly blank, but he nodded in agreement. "Yes, ma'am." He didn't look back at her as he pulled the car away from the curb.

Traffic was understandably light at this time of night. Halfway between midnight and dawn, the only people on the road were those straggling home from bars or who worked god-forsaken hours somewhere...and vampires. They only passed a handful of cars on their journey into downtown Seattle. Here and there a car drove past, each driver looking more morose than the last. Elena felt sorry for those going to work this early on a Saturday morning. Still, she focused on the other cars and the buildings as she passed by. They were the only things keeping her awake. Her eyelids were doing their best to force her to close them.

But she couldn't. Not when she needed to be rehearsing what she'd say – even though she still wasn't sure what would convince him. She lost the fight with alertness as they turned from the freeway and onto the first of the maze of streets downtown.

The taxi jerked to a stop, and her eyes popped open. "Here we are." The driver pointed at the front door.

Elena fixed her eyes on his. "No charge? That was so nice of you."

"My pleasure." The taxi driver blinked rapidly, but didn't question Elena as she stepped from the back seat.

Her heels of her boots clicked along the sidewalk as she approached the doorman. Standing tall and alert, even at this time of morning, gave her a hint at what kind of luxury apartment he'd rented.

Of course he did. She was talking about Damon.

But still, she hadn't really expected an apartment. That smacked of permanence – or at least the idea he didn't plan on returning to Mystic Falls any time soon.

She smiled as she approached the dark skinned man. His eyes were curious as he turned in her direction. They drifted slowly up and down her body before stopping on her face. He was definitely interested. That made it much easier. "Good morning." His eyes locked on hers, and she knew he wouldn't be able to resist. "Does Damon Salvatore live here?"

The doorman nodded in reply.

"Excellent." A shiver of anticipation coursed through her spine. "I need you to let me in."

"Of course." He pushed the door open. "Is Mr. Salvatore expecting you?"

"Not exactly." Elena waved goodbye as she stepped through the door and onto the marble tile of the entryway. The door closed behind her, and she instantly thought to herself that she shouldn't be here. Ridiculous. But still, her stomach churned and her feet somehow forgot how to move. This wasn't where she was supposed to be. She should be home in Mystic Falls. Like hell she was… She took a breath to steady herself. She was stronger than the sire bond. She was in control of her actions.

And right now, she wanted to be in that elevator. She forced herself to move. The lights in the hallway were dimmed, probably to save on electricity. The plaque on the wall above the elevator buttons proclaimed the apartment building's _green _status. Damon had become environmentally friendly. Elena chuckled to herself at the irony as she selected the top button.

The doors opened, accompanied by a soft chime. She selected the penthouse and leaned back against the far wall, trying to convince herself she was relaxed. The lights in the elevator flickered as thunder rolled outside. The mist was changing to the storm the pilot promised had been on its way as they landed.

A chime signaled her arrival at the topmost floor of the building. She stepped out, looking from side to side. Only one apartment occupied this level. At least she wasn't about to give someone she didn't know an unexpected wake-up call. She stepped to the door and knocked.

And waited.

And no one answered.

But she could hear him. Just on the other side of the door, his heartbeat betrayed him. "Damon, please open the door." His pulse sped at the sound of her voice, but there was no answering twist of the doorknob. "Damon. I know you're in there."

The sound of the heartbeat went away. He wasn't going to answer. She tasted bile at the back of her throat. She leaned against the wall, and her weight of the journey finally hit her. Drawing her knees up to her chest, she rested her cheek on her knee. She could wait him out. She wasn't leaving without talking to him.

* * *

Stepping away from the door was one of the most difficult things Damon had done in his life. The only pain that he remembered that was worse involved compelling Elena to leave him and the cabin behind as she returned to Mystic Falls and the life she should have had….well, what remained of the life she should have had.

He listened as her footsteps echoed in the hallway. She was leaving. Damon waited for the chime of the elevator. It didn't come. Stealthily, he approached the front door again. Damn it, she was sitting on the floor.

She always had been persistent.

Reluctantly, he turned the knob. Her head shot up and her eyes widened in surprise. God, he'd forgotten exactly how brown they were….and how helpless he felt when he looked into them. Elena wasn't an original. She couldn't compel him, but those brown eyes did a damn good job of making him do what she wanted anyway.

"You shouldn't be here." His voice was rough with disuse. He honestly couldn't remember how long it had been since he'd spoken with another living being.

"We need to talk." Now that she was standing in front of him, he got a good look at her. And she looked like hell. Hard to do when one's a vampire.

It took every ounce of strength he had to fold his arms in front of his chest and shake his head. "You need to leave. You're supposed to be at home."

Her movements echoed his – whether unconscious or unconscious, the similarity reminded him of _why _she was supposed to be at home. He couldn't trust what she said – not really…not until Jeremy called him to let him know the tattoo was complete and he had the key to turning his sister human again. For now, he had to hold strong, even when he wanted to gather her in his arms and take her then and there.

"I'm not going." Her eyes grew concerned as they searched his face.

She could be so stubborn when she wanted to.

"Elena." He allowed himself the indulgence of stroking her cheek. As his hand brushed her skin, his cock sprang to life. Not all of him wanted her to leave. He took a breath and inhaled the scent of her shampoo. He hadn't just missed making love to her. He missed _her. _

Maybe he should just take his ring off and allow himself to burn in the sun. He'd thought about it a hundred times since he'd left Mystic Falls. It would be easier than living without her….and he wouldn't have to risk any of the so-called cure's unexpected side effects. "Listen to me, Elena."

"No." She stepped back, squeezing her eyes shut. "I won't let you. Not again."

He gritted his teeth together and stepped closer to her. This was for her own good – if he said it to himself enough times, he might actually begin to believe it. "You need to leave. Go back to Mystic Falls. That's what would make me happy." He couldn't bring himself to tell her to forget about him….even though he knew that might be what it might take. He'd try it this way once more. "Go home Elena."

Her hands began to tremble as she fought against his words. "I'm. Not. Going." She stomped one foot on the ground for emphasis. "Damon." The fire blazing in her eyes stopped him from speaking. "I'm not leaving because I know you need me too."

Damon swallowed thickly. How much he needed her didn't matter. He needed this to be real – otherwise it was no different than if he'd compelled her ages ago. "I'm sorry." He held her face between his palms and bent down to kiss the top of her forehead. "You have to go."

"I won't." Elena faced off with him, her voice taking on a pleading edge. "Because Alaric told me how to find you. He said you needed me too."

* * *

Reviews make the fingers type faster! Thanks for reading!


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